Happiness is something that each human being is expecting in their life and the more we have the more we want happiness in our lives. Today I would like to talk about the formula to obtain happiness.
What is happiness? How can we be happy? Can we get happiness from somewhere or are we born happy? What exactly is this concept of happiness? Someone asked Lord Buddha, “I want to be happy.” Buddha replied, “Remove I want to… from your sentence and you will be happy.”
A lot of us live with this phenomenon of ‘I me myself’. And that’s the ego point. Can we get out of this ‘I me myself’? Do we really look into the needs and wants? Actually there is enough for everybody’s needs but there is no fulfilment for everybody’s wants. What can we do about this accumulation? We must realise that happiness is a concept in the future. I will be happy if I have the best car. I will be happy is I have a big house of my own. I will be happy if I get good results in grade 12. “WILL BE HAPPY” something in the future. But actually it is right in ‘YOU’.
Happiness is one among the six basic emotions of human beings namely fear, happiness, sadness, anger, disgust and surprise. So happiness is a born phenomenon within a person but very often we fail to recognize it and we search for it in the future. Let me tell you that happiness is a beautiful formula but before I get to the formula; I would love to share a brilliant story which I heard from Dr. Chinu (one of my ……). This story talks about the hare and the tortoise which as kids all of us have heard and that the hare slept off and the tortoise crossed him and wins the race and conclude the morale that slow and steady wins the race. But what we have not heard is that when the rabbit was asked what had happened to him?; he said that while he was running he was way ahead and the tortoise was very slow so he got engaged in enjoying the beauty of green, huge trees and he wanted to rest under it. He loved resting there. Then he heard a Cuckoo singing and he loved it too. Then he saw the multi-coloured flowers and loved its fragnance. Then he saw a pretty butterfly around them. And he got very engrossed in all these things. Suddenly he remembered that he is a part of the race. So before the tortoise can cross him, he will reach the end and be a winner. But at that moment he found a saint under the tree. The saint started his discourse and started talking to him and asked him, “where are you going?” So the rabbit replied that he wanted to win the race so that people will remember him as the fastest animal. And that is why he is running a race. “What will you get?”, asked the saint? The rabbit replied he will get a medal and fame. “What will happen then?”, asked the saint. To which the rabbit replied that he will be happy. So then the saint asked “Are you not happy in this green grass? Are you not happy to see these beautiful flowers, its fragrance and the pretty butterflies?”.
It is the same for us as well. We are happy but we all run a mad race to somewhere, to achieve something, which is not there. You buy one car but you want to buy a bigger car or a better brand. You have one-bedroom house but you want a 4-bedroom house. And what not…….
When we talk of happiness hormones what comes to our mind is Dopamine, which is released when you achieve something. And when you have achieved it, the release gets vanished. Then you want something else and when you get it again dopamine is realised and next moment it is gone. It is an endless cycle. So friends today we are going to talk about a beautiful model called ‘PERMA’. If you understand these five things, then happiness will not be out there but it will be inside you. So lets us understand these 5 points.
- P – Positive emotions – It is very important for us to acknowledge our own emotions and turn them into positive emotions? Many a times we live our lives under the shelter of negative emotions. Do you have the power to change your unhealthy negative emotions into healthy negative emotions? And then eventually turn them into positive emotions. And that is what brings the difference in life. So let us start evaluating our emotions because our emotions are actually the by-product of our thinking processes. When we look for what is not there compared to looking at what is there; the emotions are different. IT IS RIGHT INSIDE YOU WITHIN YOUR REACH.
- E – Engagement – Keep yourselves busy. An idle mind is a devil’s workshop. If you want to be happy; identify what is your passion? What is driving you through? A sculpture sits with a hammer and chisel the whole day with one stone and carves a beautiful statue out of it. How much time does it take? Probably the full day. But because there is a passion, a goal, something you are trying to achieve, the engagement keeps you happy. So it is very important for all of us to keep ourselves engaged. If you are a student, engage in whatever you think is your priority. If you are an adult, choose your priorities. Often many young women say that before their marriage they could engage in doing so many activities but now they do not have the time and do not have any priorities. YOU NEED TO CHOOSE YOUR PRIORITIES.
- R – Relationship – How much time do we give to our relationships? Courtesy social media these days, everybody is sitting in close contiguity of time and space but not communicating with each other. Everybody is busy with their smart unit (mobile phones) in their hands. We connect with people who are miles and miles away but we are not connecting with people who are sitting next to us. One must invest in the relationships as it is very important that you value them and express your love, care and gratitude to them. How much does your family, your friends mean to you? Invest in them, invest in your relationships. There are researches that show that PEOPLE WHO HAVE STRINGER RELATIONSHIPS ARE HAPPIER HUMAN BEINGS IN LIFE.
- M – Meaning – What is the meaning of your life? What is your purpose of your life? Have you really set any goals? As per Maslow’s Need Hierarchy model, we talk of self-actualization after our basic needs of love, hunger, thirst and sex are met. We all look forward to something bigger in life. What is your goal in life? YOU NEED TO DEFINE THAT GOAL IN YOUR LIFE NOW.
- A – Accomplishments – Celebrate your accomplishments, small or big; You must celebrate it. It may be small achievements, collect your family and friends and celebrate those small achievements. Make them sound big to your own self because YOU CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY.
The journey is immensely positive. Everything is in your reach. What you need is the right attitude because happiness is not only an emotion but it is an attitude and it is within your reach right inside you.
