Communication is an art and it is certainly key when speaking with your child and vice versa. It has been observed, that at times our children may seem to take their parents for granted. Parents develop a sense of resentment and will then not tolerate the manner in which their child will speak to them under any circumstance. Have you ever stopped to think why this happens and how best to remedy the situation?
How do you react towards your child, when they use inappropriate words? Initially, you may feel shocked and think ‘Wait, this is not appropriate?’ Correct, it is not appropriate, although you cannot simply let it slide, because it will reoccur under different circumstances, if you do not address it appropriately. By simply stating, ‘I will never talk to you’ may be something that you feel like blurting out at that very moment, although that is not the answer, is it? You will speak to your child again, that is a reality.
You must let your child know that they must refrain and use the appropriate choice of words. Role modelling this within the home environment or also when you are out during social gatherings seems to be the best manner in which your child will naturally receive the social graces of communication. You must also be extremely cautious towards your child when they enter the adolescent stage as teenagers. They are very curious about knowing more about the world around them, while testing their boundaries and seeing just how far they can stretch their limits. They are certainly up for the challenge!
Try to keep the following in mind, as you continue to cultivate a healthy mode of communication with your child:
- When your child says something to you which you do not appreciate, be sure to let them know, by stating ‘I do not like the way you have spoken to me, it has hurt my feelings.’
- You must address the fact that you do not at all like nor appreciate the way in which they have behaved. You may also state ‘I do not feel good when you speak to me this way.’ It is important that you also walk away and detach from that particular scenario. This will enable both the parent and child to reflect about what has happened and more importantly, think about how to handle themselves the next time.
- It is very important to realize that the parent is the role model and your words and actions must always reflect what you are expecting from your child, even your growing teenager.
- The tone that you use during communication is very important. Remember, that if you are wanting your child to use the appropriate tone when speaking to you, you must also do the same. Never raise your voice and tone when certain moments become heated. Instead, lower your tone while maintaining eye contact and use very direct simple, clear sentences as you communicate with your child. By doing so, you will continue to have your child’s attention otherwise by using a loud voice will only frighten and turn your child away and they are not interested in listening to what you are trying to communicate.
Communication is certainly an art; and you can continue to master it day by day along with your family by including some of these useful tips.