Dealing with sibling rivalry

WHAT IS SIBLING RIVALRY?
Sibling rivalry is the protectiveness, opposition and struggle between siblings. It is a concern for almost all parents of two or more kids. Problems often start right after the birth of the second child. Sibling rivalry usually continues throughout childhood and can be very frustrating and stressful to parents.

WHAT IS SIBLING RIVALRY?

Sibling rivalry is the protectiveness, opposition and struggle between siblings. It is a concern for almost all parents of two or more kids. Problems often start right after the birth of the second child. Sibling rivalry usually continues throughout childhood and can be very frustrating and stressful to parents.

HOW PARENTS CAN DEAL WITH SIBLING RIVALRY?

  1. Dos while dealing with sibling rivalry
  • Parents can set a norm of desired behaviours expected from the children to follow
  • Parents should set an example of constructive interactions to role model the behavior expected from the children.
  • Children should witness that you are talking and negotiating with a family member to solve problems.
  • Explain the children that no hitting or other physically violent behaviour is allowed.
  • The children should not call each other names but they should express their feelings openly and honestly without injuring their siblings physically or verbally.
  • You can also make a ‘safe zone’ for small children where they are able to play freely without other toddler coming and damaging their play area or toys.
  • Also you can give some personal space dedicated to each of them such as a cupboard or drawer where they can keep their belongings.
  • Explain the children that they should not destroy or damage any property.
  • Put all these rules on display in the house so that you can bring to the child’s notice when they tend to break the rules.
  • Set up and explain the judicious consequences to the children for any destructive or aggressive behavior and be consistent with these consequences.

 

  1. Don’ts while dealing with sibling rivalry
  • Parents should not force a child to apologize but instead support a child to see things from their sibling’s perspective. This will over time help child to better interpret behaviours and learn to be more compassionate and respectful.
  • Parents should not use labels to describe a child. E.g ‘He’s the shy’, ‘She is brainy’, etc. Instead, parents should encourage each child to stretch to roles that may be outside his or her usual behaviour patterns
  • Parents should not label children as competitors or enemies. Don’t make negative sibling comparisons and criticisms ‘Why can’t you kids ever get along?’- it will increase the rivalry. Instead, put a more positive, hopeful spin to comments. E.g. ‘I look forward to you two cooperating with each other’.
  • Parents should not compare one child in the family to another. Comparing siblings can fuel anger and negative feelings. Each child is unique, and that uniqueness should be celebrated.
  • Parents should not play favourites. It’s normal for a parent to feel a special closeness to particular child from time to time. But strive to be ethical and resist showing an obvious preference. Jealousy, resentment, and hate brew when parents play favourites.

 

  • Preventive measures – Instill a positive environment
  • Make a positive, supportive and cooperative environment at home that has arrangement to get along.
  • Teach your children to respectfully express what they feel, their point of view or desires. Mention often that all have a right to express their point of view.
  • Parents should direct the arguments of siblings towards problem solving steps of conflict resolution such as identify the problem; brainstorm solution options; note pros and cons of each option; select one option to try out; and repeat steps as needed.
  • Acknowledge, highlight and encourage each child’s personal strengths and uniqueness whenever possible.
  • Praise the children whenever they get along. Give them a new privilege to reward their cooperative behaviour.
  • Significantly highlight attachment to and affection for siblings – ‘I really admire what good friends you’ve become’.
  • Respect the possessions of kids and take permission before giving a younger sibling the special toys, comfort item, furniture or clothing of the older sibling.
  • Spend quality one-on-one time (uninstructed) with each child such as story time, extra cuddles at nap or television time. Take turns having one child run an errand or complete a household chore with you.
  • Teach children to work as a team together. Parents can put both the children in one team (Vs parents) in the games that they play at home instead of putting the children against each other. Parents can set collaborative rules to support each other. In this way they will learn to eradicate their internal rivalry.

 

  1. Managing Severe cases

Many times it so happens that the situation becomes uncontrollable. And the sibling rivalry is excessive or very often becomes aggression, physically injurious or verbal attack. These out of control situations can be prolonged screaming, throwing items, physical injury, cruel teasing / tricking, or other forms of physical or emotional attacks. In these circumstances the parents should take the help of child psychologist & counselor for precautionary / preventive measures and corrective interventions.

Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA)

Do you have a child in your class who seems to listen but does not follow instructions? And is always on the move?
Are you confused why are some of the students not behaving the way they should?
Does your child throw tantrums and you do not know how to handle it?
Is your child unable to make friends?
These are all behaviors and any behavior can be changed or modified. The entire science of understanding and modifying the behavior is called Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA), popularly also known as ABA therapy. It is the most scientifically driven procedure for behavior modification. Here are some tips to understand and help modification of behaviors.

Do you have a child in your class who seems to listen but does not follow instructions? And is always on the move?

Are you confused why are some of the students not behaving the way they should?

Does your child throw tantrums and you do not know how to handle it?

Is your child unable to make friends?

These are all behaviors and any behavior can be changed or modified. The entire science of understanding and modifying the behavior is called Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA), popularly also known as ABA therapy. It is the most scientifically driven procedure for behavior modification. Here are some tips to understand and help modification of behaviors.

So, let us understand what is the ABC of ABA?

  • A stands for Antecedent. When any behavior occurs there is a situation that precedes the behavior which is called Antecedent (what happens before, what triggers the behavior). Antecedent is very important to understand if we are looking at modifying the behavior of a child / adult / autistic child / non-autistic child.
  • B stands for Behavior that occurs after antecedent.
  • C stands for consequences. Consequence is what happens after the behavior occurs. Consequences can also be classified into reinforcement and punishment. If we want to change or modify the behavior then it is of utmost importance to understand the concept of reinforcement and punishment.

Reinforcement is used to increase the occurrence of a wanted behavior. There are two types of reinforcement – Positive & Negative.

Punishment is used to decrease the occurrence of an unwanted behavior. Punishments, traditionally are considered not to be used unless very necessary as it leaves a scar on the psyche of a child. And there are two types of punishments – Positive & Negative

If you learn to use reinforcements and punishments, then you are able to modify anyone’s behavior. So for all those parents, teachers and caregivers who want to induct good, desirable and socially acceptable behavior in the children, they must understand the science of using reinforcements and punishments

Let us understand the types of reinforcements and punishment:-

Positive punishment – Positive punishment means adding something that the child does not like in the schedule after the occurrence of an unwanted behavior. E.g. Max a student who gets poor results so every time when max brings home a poor result the mother will ask him to wash the dishes after dinner. So she added something that Max does not like? So to avoid this Max will start getting better grades. And thus he decreases the behavior of bringing poor grades. This is called positive punishment.

Negative punishment – Negative Punishment is taking away something the child likes to decrease an unwanted behavior. E.g. a child if misbehaves in class then the teacher will deny a PE period for him. So if the child does not want to miss the PE period then he will make sure that he behaves well in class. Thus the undesired behavior in class is reduced. This is negative punishment.

Positive Reinforcement – To increase a wanted behavior by adding something that the child likes is called a positive reinforcement. E.g. If a child displays a good behavior such as greeting guests or talking nicely with others, and the parent gives a favorite eatable or visit his favorite place or extra play time. So this will make the child continue the wanted behavior in future. This is positive reinforcement.

Negative reinforcement – Negative reinforcement is to take away something the child dislike to increase wanted behavior E.g. Teacher gives a task to Roby to be completed in 5 minutes and if he does so she will not send him for swimming as Roby dislikes swimming. So to avoid the swimming Roby finished the task in 5 minutes. This is negative reinforcement

Try using the reinforcements and punishments with the children and you will be able to achieve amazing results. The important thing is that you need to be consistent with your implementation to obtain the desired results.

The Magic Of Law Of Attraction

There are multiple laws around us. Some are physics and others, government. Yet, we have an exciting law that is always within our reach: the law of attraction. The law is simple: one can get anything under the sun in their life if they manifest for it.

It’s an amazing science. Whatever the human mind and conceive and believe, it can easily achieve. There are books and movies like ‘The Secret’ based on the law of attraction. Maybe reading and watching these is a good way to introduce yourself to the strength and beauty of this law!

Firstly, listening is a vital skill. Even though our mind tends to believe only what we want to hear due to the confirmation bias, being more alert is vital. If we listen to everything around us, we will be more alert to our surroundings and have greater control.

Having a vision board is an excellent way to have control over our own thoughts and believes. If we want a car, we can get a car. A good way to really make ourselves believe that want it is to be precise with our dreams, get a picture of the model and the colour and have it looking at through your vision board!

Next, perspective is essential. The meaning we attach to something is not external- it’s rather from within. How we interpret our surroundings is essential. A rainy day can be romantic for one while gloomy for another at the same time.

Also, we create the negativity in our life. They are planted by us, and hence can be eliminated by us very easily. In a garden where we plant nothing, we will only have weed and grass, but if we plant a good seed, we may get roses. We need to keep taking to ourselves and telling us that we are good, we are great.

We have an exclusive access to our inner self and positive affirmations can save the day!

Today, at the dawn of the post Covid era- take charge of yourself, heal yourself and experience change like never before!

MULTIPLE INTELLIGENCE

 

Conversations about intelligence are a common part of our daily lives. Historically, we have all tried to determine how intelligent us and the others around us are. However, breaking down the abstract idea of intelligence gives rise to many other questions. For instance, most intelligence tests are only confined to verbal and logical reasoning. Yet, there are many other ways in which someone can demonstrate intelligence and exceptional behavior.

These questions have given birth to the 8 components of multiple intelligence by Howard Gardner. Apart from the academic focused verbal and mathematical intelligence, other types of intelligence’s  include interpersonal, intra-personal, kinesthetic, musical, visual, and naturalistic.

Interpersonal intelligence means the ability to interact and bond well with others while intra-personal means the power to understand oneself and be strong to fight adversity.

Kinesthetic relates to bodily functioning like sports, dancing, and swimming while musical and visual are more on the arts side of the spectrum.

Lastly, naturalistic accounts for all very strong five senses and culinary expertise.

Given that there are so many different and diverse ways in which we all can be intelligent, it is important to keep these various forms in mind as parents and teachers. All our children have some talent and recognizing their special intelligence at an early stage in life will help support them and hone their skills. These intelligence’s are often reflected in hobbies and extra-curricular activities that students take up in school. Appreciating them and starting a conversation about them will help empower many young hearts and will turn them into confident and multi-talented individuals! 

ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE

Our attitude around every aspect of our lives influences how we experience living. Similarly, always bearing an idea of gratitude in our hearts and minds is imperative. If we focus on the things we have and constantly remind ourselves to appreciate them, the grief around the things that we do not have can be easily eliminated from our day-to-day living.

As the saying goes- count your blessings. The ability to fully acknowledge and empathize with what we have is an acquired skill and requires a major shift in point of view. During such crucial period of the global pandemic, this opportunity is overwhelmingly available. We are at home and have spare time and capacity in our minds to keep running all sorts of thoughts. Amidst this process, a spur of negative thinking can destroy your day, weeks and even months. However, with a twist of the ‘attitude of gratitude’, positive thinking can come to our rescue.

For starters, to routinize gratefulness, we can prepare a book of gratitude. In this book, we can write at least one thing in our day or life which we feel grateful for.  As days pass, our approach should be to read through the logs of the previous days every time we add to the journal for a new day. This way, there is a tangible light of hope reminding us that there is lots in life we can be thankful for.

The second stage of introspection is to dwell into the era of ‘why’ we are grateful to illicit feelings of very rational positivity. With this synergy working like a self-help personal diary, you for sure have one magical object to charm you when you are sad!

So let’s inculcate the attitude of gratitude and spread a positive magnitude!

 

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Holiday Camp Venues and Nearby Areas

Following are the areas of each campus of dubai

1- New World  Private School (Al Twar) – DUBAI

International city, Mirdif, Al Warqa, Nad Al Hamar, Al Rashidya, Al Twar, Al Qusais, Al Nahda, Al Muhaisnah, Abu Hail, Al Mamzar, Al Hamriyah, Diera, Rigga, Muraqabat etc

2 – Bright Rider ( DIP) – DUBAI

DIP, Arabian Ranches, Sports City, Motor City, Discovery Gardens, JLT, Marina Dubai, Jumeirah, Barsha, T.Com, Jabel Ali Village, Palm Jumeirah, etc

3- Amity Private School, Muwailah- SHARJAH

Detox Your Subconscious

In the era of COVID-19, we are all facing mixed emotions. Some of us are stressed and anxious whilst others are helpless and have lost hope due to the situations around them. The pressing question is what can be done and how one can be trained to be better off in the long run. While we may believe that most of our thoughts are under our control and we know exactly what we are thinking at any point in time, it is also important to consider the power of the subconscious mind. During a stressful time like this, detoxifying the subconscious is the key to maintaining mental and emotional well-being.

It is clear that our subconscious is driven by the emotions we attach to every situation. In the story of the prisoner as narrated by neurologist Dr Viktor Frankl, we see how a man passed away exactly at the date the inner voice in his dream had chosen for him to ‘escape’ the harsh conditions of the prison. Here, the man attached the idea of ‘escaping’ with a date and when he did not see any positive way out of captivity, the negative energy flowing within him brought him to his death bed.

This tells us that even in the most difficult situations, we are always driving what happens in our lives and have the power to take our destiny in our hands based on how we think. An optimistic approach towards the current situation and being able to filter out fact from emotion in the hope of a strong comeback in the future is the ideal way of detoxifying our subconscious. While it is important to be aware of statistics and transmission rates around us, one must not be glued to social media and news channels that constantly pumps out negative dimensions. It is in our hands to control what we see, think and hear. A cautionary and careful approach will automatically contribute towards the perfect detox for our subconscious!

‘HAPPY TEACHERS MAKE HAPPY CHILDREN.’

During this crucial period, I would like to highlight how teachers around the world are facing challenges with the unprecedented and new mode of delivering even the most formal education through the internet. Teachers are always given a huge amount of respect across various cultures and how them being happy results in an entire community and a whole new generation prospering towards success.

Firstly, I would like to mention the importance of time management technique which suggests that any activity, including that of online teaching should happen in 25-minute sessions followed by 5-minute breaks. These can be organized for up to three times in a row upon which a class should get 30 minutes of downtime where teachers get to re-energize and feel fresh.

Next up, teachers must also ensure that they have a designated workstation at home to give them a sense of structure, clarity and continuity. This place can also be portable in the form of a ‘toolkit’ that includes all essentials so that one can get set go easily and conveniently.

With that, mental and emotional well being of our teachers is a priority. This includes everything from healthy conversation with friends and family to a planned diet that can accommodate for both health and taste. What one eats significantly affects their psyche, impacting how they work and interact with everyone- especially their students.

Also, as it is always said, physical well being relates to happiness. Breathing exercises that increase body oxygen levels can certainly lead to a fresh start to the day, which not only benefit the teacher themselves, but all the students they work with.

And finally, designating time is important. Students must know when to reach out and expect a response as well as when not to disturb their teachers. This will enable teachers to focus on all parts of their lives and be emotionally stable, without having to stress themselves in situations where students demand or solicit immediate replies at odd hours. When it comes to Online Teaching and Learning itself, there is an ocean of resources available online and we must remember to access them! Experts are happy to help, and aids and videos are available everywhere, so most teachers will find it easy to get started!

Stay home! Stay safe! Have a healthy Online Teaching and Learning Experience!

 

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REBOOT YOUR HAPPINESS

We are in the middle of tremendous stress and the COVID-19 situation has visibly changed our lives. Yet, there are cases of positivity, success and recovery blooming all around us. As the Prime Minister of the United Arab Emirates and Ruler of Dubai Sheikh Mohammed proclaimed that ‘we will win’ in a tweet this morning, Dr. Alka Kalra also came up with a toolkit to reboot. Here’s a list of simple to-dos that will help you relax and rejoice this time with yourself as the world, and its people, heal towards victory.

  1. Deep Breathing Exercises

Yes, we now have the time to pamper ourselves. This does not always mean going to a spa or booking a vacation- it can be something as simple as a deep breathing exercise with a little bit of meditation for 10-15 minutes daily, to create and absorb the positive energy around us. Come, let us greet every new day with a few fresh breaths!

  1. An Attitude of Gratitude

Most of us are fighting our own battles as our front-liners work around the clock to protect us. Expressing gratitude for what you have and for what others are doing for you is an ingenious self care remedy! Saying thank-you is an empowering gesture, which makes you and the other person happy at the same time! That’s two smiles for one deal.

  1. Think Long-Term

While the future is still cloudy with doubts and question-marks, this time with family is good enough to chalk-out a long-term vision for yourself. Think of the positive self you will be in the next decade, and the wonders that your actions will create around the world as the universe does its fair share and rolls all the good vibes towards you- starting today, until…forever?

  1. Internalize Positivity

Mental strength is our modern strategy! If one remains mentally strong and positive about their approach to incoming problems, then they have their own little army to battle personal, or even global catastrophes. Reminding ourselves of the good things that have happened to us in the past and using this inventory to reflect them on our present and future can be an amazing pass-time!

  1. Get Connected- virtually, for now ?

Yes, we are isolated but only physically. We still have an opportunity to remain emotionally and mentally invested in ourselves and our relationships. Getting connected is just a phone-call or text message away but can help build your confidence and mental stamina! Call the right person, start with a gush of joy and it will be your best virtual coffee date!

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How to defeat the anxiety that is building within you, while you are at home during this terrifying COVID- 19 period?

At this point of time it is important to stay physically fit. And I strongly believe that it is essential to keep yourself mentally fit and have an emotional balance to keep yourself physically fit. However, I totally understand that, these days having an emotional balance and keeping ourselves mentally fit is a greater challenge than keeping ourselves physically fit. But how do we overcome this challenge, this fear, and this anxiety? How can we kill this worm of anxiety that is growing within us?

Firstly, calm down yourself, and reflect upon yourself. Think what is stopping you from overcoming this wave of anxiety that is flowing to and fro in your system? What is the actual barrier, which I can break through and have an emotional balance? What is stopping me from being mentally fit?

Well, now it’s the time when we all need to understand that we are the ones who have built these barriers for ourselves and only we are responsible to breakthrough this barrier for and defeat the anxiety that is building within us. And this can be achieved by following some simple steps and changing our thought process which will help us to adapt a new approach towards life.

Consider that there is a worm of anxiety sitting within you. And each time you talk about the present scenario with your friends and family, you are feeding this tiny worm. Each time you check your social media post or Wats App forwards that are full of negative statements you are helping this tiny worm to grow bigger. Every time you see the news, or check on headlines for regular updates you are just feeding this worm inside you, and it results in growing fatter and fatter. And in no time you will realize that this worm has taken over you and has started ruling you.

Hence, in this case the first step to kill this worm is stop feeding it time and again. You need not keep a check on all the possible sources all day to tap on the current status. Well, it is absolutely important to keep a tap of what’s happening around the world and be aware, but that can be done possibly once or twice a day. There is no need of following every news channel and social media platforms 24 X 7. So set rules for yourself and your family. Being at home should not stop you from leading a disciplined life. So let’s reflect upon ourselves and turn this obstacle into an opportunity. Here are a few suggestions that can help you:

  • Set time for keeping a tap on the current status and updates of the actions taken by the government. For instance it can be twice a day for not more than 15 min.
  • Spend time with your family and children. Find activities to involve them. This will help them accelerate their knowledge and skills.
  • Think upon what did you always wanted to do, to improve yourself. What are the areas you can work upon for your personal growth? And all you need to do is, just type that word in the search box on Google and you will see a buffet of online courses available.
  • Utilize this time to tap your and your children’s hidden potential. Social distancing cannot stop you from learning. Where there is a will, there is a way! So look for distance learning options as per your desire. There are amazing live interactive online training sessions that can certainly help you to upgrade your knowledge and skills. You never know, you might probably outshine after this quarantine period as you have equipped yourself with the required knowledge and skills.
  • Be grateful to the supreme personality that, in spite of being in such a crucial situation we are able to connect with everyone and anyone across the globe, as the present era is blessed with the internet and the latest technology that covers the distance of thousands of miles just at a click. So, make the most of the technology, to connect with your loved ones and be innovative, by having certain group sessions online. For example; do a cardio workout, yoga, play games, solve a puzzle, have a party, learn a song, or set up a dance with your friends and family using wonderful web meetings app like Zoom, Webinar, Cloud meetings, etc.
  • Read a book that you always wished too. Even though, you might not have this book at home, don’t worry! Fortunately, we have Google! Search for it, and you will surely find an e-version of that book. So here you go! And I am sure you will come across many other good reads while you are doing your online research. So grab this opportunity to enhance your knowledge and language too!
  • There are various effective online training available for the generation next, who at this point of time needs to divert their attention from the negativity around them and invest this time constructively and make the most of the e-learning platform. So sit with your teenagers at home and talk with them to understand their interest and identify their potential, so you can guide them to choose the right option from the ones available online. Thus this will help them to build confidence and prepare them for a better tomorrow.
  • Try to have a set up or a role play at home with your family as if you are to a fine dine restaurant, or probably on a picnic to the park or may be a beach party. Get everyone set in the same mood. Use the required props, dress up accordingly create that ambience and enjoy the feel.
  • Remember, there are things that are under your control and there are things that are probably beyond your control. So focus on things that are under your control and take complete charge of the situation. Do not wait for things to happen, rather make things happen.
  • And lastly, live in the moment, and enjoy your time with yourself and your families. Thinking much about what will happen, where we are heading and what is our future going to be like, will lead you nowhere other than depression. So live in present and take control of the situation with a positive approach.

STAY HOME, STAY SAFE, STAY HAPPY, STAY HEALTHY AND STAY CONNECTED!

 

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Help your teenagers to become a highly effective leader, and not laggards while they are at home during this crucial phase of their development.

It is often said that teenagers are the future of tomorrow.
“Growing up isn’t easy, but with the help of right guidance and support young adults can learn to navigate through this crucial phase and come out on the other side as a highly effective adult. If we want our growing teen at home to be highly effective, then firstly they should be empowered as young adults by reminding them that it is perfectly normal to make mistakes. If and when your teenager behaves in an intrusive or presumptuous manner, then help them navigate the treacherous waters of adolescence. The best way to navigate them is, through literary and personal experiences, hopefully teenagers can learn to take complete control of themselves and be responsible for their behaviour. This will ultimately help them discover the effective adult waiting underneath the surface.

As a parent or guardian you need to take necessary steps to equip your children with the right tools to ensure that they can play an active role in shaping the future of our planet rather than just being followers.
Teenage years have been associated with experimental years and being a teenager is one of the greatest moments in someone’s life. Even during the later stages of life, many people still look back at their adolescent years with fond memories; their memories may not be vivid, but those memory fragments do bring smiles on their faces. Hence, it is the time when you acknowledge the fact that ‘it is okay if our growing teens make mistakes, for they have a future ahead of them to rectify those mistakes’.

Sometimes, the future looks bleak for teenagers. What hinders teenagers is negative thinking. They always have an excuse for not doing something, citing past bad experiences or what happened to someone else. Teenagers must face tomorrow with a positive frame of mind and we are responsible to help our growing teenagers to be the future and be prepared to fight and head towards success. At this point of time it is important that our youth look within themselves and decide where they want to be in life. Things don’t just happen; one has to work hard, and the hard work should start as early as possible. And to begin the journey, what could be better than this quarantine period?

As people face the uncertainty of the future, the most important thing is to focus on today and what one can see. A person must be determined to go all the way, even if it means cutting through the desert. Perseverance is the key to success. It conquers obstacles, sometimes, without fighting them.
So help your teenager at home to be ready and prepared to take whatever life throws at them. Empower them with motivating words like, ‘if life throws bricks and concrete blocks at you, build a wall or bridge. If it throws plants, flowers, and trees; then make a beautiful garden. Never give up. Keep on pushing. Keep on knocking on the doors. Keep on climbing the mountains. Keep on dreaming. One day, you will live the dream.’ When such statements are quoted repeatedly, it reinforces a positive attitude in a teenager which results in building their confidence and self-esteem. This way you are enlightening the leader in your growing teen and developing their leadership skills too.

Leadership is an important skill for the students in middle and high school to acquire. While they continue to hone their leadership style and skills not just through their teenage years, but even during the later stages of their careers, students can benefit from gaining an early understanding of what makes a great leader and what holds someone back from becoming a respected leader.

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Stress Management During Exams

Stress Management During Exams
Dr. Alka Kalra, Educational Psychologist Eduscan Institute, Dubai

As exam season nears, a wave of anxiety spreads through not only students but parents and teachers as well. It is extremely necessary to manage this stress correctly as it can affect students adversely. Dr. Alka Kalra, a renowned CDA Licensed Educational-Psychologist shares a few tips for students, parents and teachers alike on how to manage stress during the exams.

For Students:

Analyze the situation and be realistic.

Face your fears!
Doing this simple exercise can help you overcome your obstacles. Take a piece of paper and write down all the causes of your anxiety. Next to each identified problem, write down the ways you think that are possible solutions. Then, take a break from your preparations to discuss your fears and concerns with your parents or your teachers.

Relax.
It only takes 15 minutes a day to do this exercise. Focus on your deep breathing coming from your diaphragm and relax.
Words of affirmation:
With more realistic thoughts such as: “Even if I am afraid, I will do everything I can to overcome any obstacle to achieve my goals”.
Spend at least 30 minutes exercise regularly.

Meditate:
Focus is the most essential factor in what and how to process what is being learned.
Meditation helps to keep your brain at the center. It enhances your focus, keeps you calm, and helps you to be in the right state of mind to concentrate on your studies. So, just breathe in, breathe out and make an effort to take the mind to a calmer state before you proceed to study. It is helpful to our holistic wellness.

For Parents:

Be calm.
As parents, your emotional state and approach to your child have a significant effect on their attitude towards learning, dealing with their exams and accepting the results. The following are a few things to keep in mind to help your children be calm and set the right expectation in the exams.

Say words of encouragement
As your child faces enough pressure from school and peers, along with their anxieties regarding performance, strive to provide a supportive atmosphere at home. Appreciate and encourage your child’s efforts in wanting to excel in school. The smallest efforts and achievement recognized by their parents is a huge factor in helping them set and achieve their goals.

Talk to them about their feelings
All children experience different levels of anxiety before exams. Where this anxiety stems from, however, may be different for each child. Sit and talk to your child about his / her feelings and expectations. This can be done in a casual and comfortable manner and atmosphere. Make them feel and assure them that they are heard, understood and have your full support.

For Teachers:

Assess students for coping skills and screen for vulnerable students.
Make an effort to observe and screen your students on tendencies on getting stuck and a decrease in performance due to anxiety during the examination period. Find out who among your students are prone to last-minute revisions, committing repetitive mistakes and change of behavior.

Impart study skills and habits.
Revise and rehearse effective study skills. Help your students learn to organize their time and material. Introduce a calendar of activities and a checklist according to the importance of topics and schedule. This will help them to become realistic in setting and meeting their goals and deadlines.

Provide Life skills training
Encourage students to maintain healthy habits and routines during the preparation and examination period. Emphasize the importance of leisure time, regular breaks, a good diet, adequate sleep and exercise in maintaining emotionally healthy, stable and keeping the right mindset and approach to examinations.

About the Author
Dr. Alka Kalra is a renowned psychologist and a Professional Counsellor, who is known as a crusader for children who are misperceived as underachievers. With her passion for children who have hidden learning difficulties, Dr. Alka wanted them to never undermine themselves and realized that they have unique skills and strengths. To work with these children, she established Eduscan in 1995. Within two decades in the UAE, Dr. Alka has changed the lives of numerous children who struggled at school due to their low performance. They are now in different parts of the works with successful careers. She also believes in training teachers as they touch many lives. Community Development Authority (Dubai) certified psychologist Dr. Alka is known for the assessment of personality, aptitude, intelligence, and hidden learning difficulties. Dr. Alka has had the honor of receiving the university gold medal in Masters of Psychology and has a second Masters in Education as well. She has earned her Ph.D. and her Post-Doctoral Research from the University of Pittsburgh, USA. To know more about her work, follow her on her Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn, or visit her website:

www.eduscangroup.com
https://www.facebook.com/EduscanGroup/
https://www.instagram.com/eduscangroup/
https://www.linkedin.com/company/eduscan-group/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-alka-kalra-a2bb3a150/?originalSubdomain=ae

Does your child suffer from keeping his focus and concentration?

Does your child suffer from keeping his focus and concentration?
Focus and concentration issues may prevent your child from achieving their potential. Difficulties with attention can affect all aspects of your child’s life. Each child’s attention span varies that are caused by underlying factors and can affect the different life aspects such as school performance, relationships, emotional control, and memory retention. The good news is, there are scientifically-proven effective exercises that will help improve your child’s focus and concentration.
Here are some tips to help improve your child’s focus and concentration:
• Identify the areas your child needs to improve on. Common examples include: listening to what is being taught, completing their homework, and improving organizational skills. Children may improve their concentration when parents are attentive to them. This means that when communicating with your child, you make sure that you talk to them face-to-face and make eye contact.
• Help your child set a goal that needs improvement. The goal should be specific and can easily be identified when these goals are achieved.
• Use reward system. Choose a reward best fit your child when they achieve the goal.
• Teach your child how to keep track of his or her attention.
• A distraction-free environment unless engaged in something they like because children may find it more difficult to screen out distractions. You need to keep the environment where they learn, study or carry out tasks, as distraction-free as possible.
• Ensure that your child has enough sleep at night supported by naps during the day. Establish a bedtime routine. The earlier the bedtime, the easier it is to implement this routine.
• Let them play games that require focus. You can train and strengthen a child’s ability to focus by playing games that require thinking. Playing games that require focus, planning as well as memory games combine fun and concentration.
• Give tasks at a minimum. You may start with a single task at a time. As a parent, allow your child to have time for pleasure and fun helping them to take out the stress off that affects their inability to focus and shorten attention span and concentration.
Choose and decide which best fits your child and be consistent on the task and routine you have to implement. This way, you are helping in a variety of areas of your child’s life.

Eduscan offers Memory and Concentration in our Leadership Training Course for the Spring Camp in Abu Dhabi, Dubai, Sharjah and Ajman. Camp starts 22nd of March 2020.

3 Questions for Powerful Parenting through Communication

“The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.” — Mark Twain.Communication is a very important aspect of parenting. Communication between parents and children happens all the time. Therefore, it has the most impact on children.Whatever is being communicated to the children; has a direct impact on their emotional and physical well being.

Also whether the communication is happening ‘at’ instead of ‘with’ children makes a lot of difference. What is more important is ‘how’ the communication happens rather than ‘what’ is being communicated.
SEE ALSO: How to Develop Leadership at a Young Age
We often witness that parents use harsh words or rude language with the children when they are angry with them. During communication with children, 3 filters of utmost importance should be used to improve the communication.

1. Is it true?

Many things are spoken but most of the time if the information is true or not, is not verified. And that creates misunderstanding

2. Is it important?

The second filter is about how important is that information. Parents need to analyse the significance of the information that they wish to convey to their child.

3. Is it helpful?

The third filter is whether the information is helpful to the child or family? Only if it supports and enhance the esteem or motivates the child; should the information be communicated to the child.
These 3 filters help us to eliminate the unwanted statements and enrich the quality of content while communicating with children. This immensely improves the relationship between parents and children.
The approach of the parent also plays a vital role in the way communication occurs. The assertive approach that allows two ways interaction is much more effective than the dictator’s approach which is only commanding or instructing. So it is suggested that parents should encourage their young kids to not only understand non-verbal clues but also effectively use it. If parents positively reinforce this, it gets embedded as a part of their personality.
Parents need to understand their children before being understood by the children, which can be achieved by active listening instead of just hearing while communicating.
What you say is important but how you say is more important.
Are you interested in getting more such insights on parenting? Do you need any feedback and suggestions from an expert? Then don’t forget to listen to the live talk by Dr. Alka Kalra, educational psychologist, on Facebook. She will be live every Thursday at 12:30pm.For further details, follow Eduscan Group on Facebook. Keep your questions ready!

About Dr. Alka Kalra

Dr. Alka is a community development authority (Dubai) certified psychologist and a professional counselor. She believes that each child has unique skills and strengths and is particularly passionate about children with learning difficulties. Through assessments (personality, aptitude and intelligence) and tailor made courses at Eduscan, not just for children but also teachers and parents, she has positively touched the lives of numerous children.
She regularly shares her views on parenting and child-rearing practices on TV, radio and on Eduscan’s social media. She has been appreciated and awarded various titles including:
• Top Indian Achiever Super 100
• “Woman of the year” by International Women Association
• “Lady of the year” by Indian Ladies association
• “Lioness of the year” by Lions Club International
• All India Best Cadet ‘Gold Medal’ by Prime Minister of India Late Indira Gandhi

3 Effective Strategies to Deal with Stage Fright

‘It’s the biggest day of your life and probably the scariest one too. There are hundreds of people in the audience who have gathered just to hear your speech. You finally step on the stage and hear a huge round of applause. Your speech starts; people are clapping and responding well. Suddenly, you fumble and forget your next few words and everything turns

You will be surprised to know that the third richest person in the world, Warren Buffet was once even scared to take his name in front of everyone. But he had this urge to overcome his stage fright. He joined a public speaking course and successfully completed it. Today, we all know who he is and that’s the power of overcoming fear!
Always remember that nobody can die while speaking on stage. But yes, there are people who would prefer to die, than to speak on stage. Try out a few strategies if you have the desire to speak on stage or in front of a large group of people.
1. Visualize
These strategies can be used anytime. It involves visualizing yourself as a good public speaker, trying to imagine the audience laughing and applauding and visualizing the fact that you are helping various people through your speech.

2. Practice
In order to be well prepared, you need to organize your speaking notes and run a thorough practice. You should be able to memorize the opening statements in such a way that even if someone wakes you up from a deep sleep and asks about it, you should be able to recite it. Keep practising in front of the mirror till you see yourself doing perfectly fine!

3. Stay Calm
Be at the venue preferably an hour early. Notice the things happening at the event and try and include elements from the live event in your speech. Remember to stay calm, revise your notes, take a walk and have sufficient water. Double check your mike, projector, etc. and then you are good to go.

Following these few tips can really make a lot of difference in your performance. Something similar is taught at Eduscan Group summer camps.
The whole objective of the camp is to make the kid confident and independent. The unique part of the camp is its final day function performance where all the camp kids put up a show for their parents. Children get to perform activities like public speaking, karate, yoga, dance, aerobics and more. In fact, during the camp they even work on the memory and concentration of children. On the final day they demonstrate the concentration power of kids by making them read information on a business card blindfolded. They can easily recognize the color of a ball they are handed over, blindfolded! This leaves the audience in awe! The function displays a beautiful transformation in kids and their behavior. Children who used to be scared to talk to strangers come out of the camp with a lot of new friends! It is an overwhelming journey for the parents as well, since they see the transformation in them.
About Eduscan Group

4 Ways to Overcome Phobias and Fears

Do we really know what is a phobia? It is something that makes us nervous; when we get those butterflies in our stomach. It makes us feel different from what we normally feel. Abnormal breathing, sweaty palm, and jittery feeling are just some common signs. The body is not in our control and it is reacting to some unknown factor and that is defined as the true state of phobia.

Even young children suffer from different kinds of phobia or fear. Having phobia or fear can be a factor in one’s growth and development as an individual. Dr. Alka Kalra, renowned educational psychologist, and director of Eduscan Group has shared some interesting steps on how you can overcome your fears and phobias:
SEE ALSO: How to Develop Leadership at Such a Young Age

1. Identify your fear or phobia

You may be scared of water, height, insects, travelling in an airplane, etc. Some students may fear speaking in public. Teenagers or middle school students mostly experience anxiety or fears related to social acceptance and academic achievement. It is extremely important to understand the components that actually trouble you.

2. Identify the factor that brings discomfort to your body

If you are scared of a cockroach, then you need to understand that at what distance it starts troubling you. To understand this you can get an artificial cockroach, first keep it far away and then slowly bring it near you. Distance is a very important factor to identify your fear. The distance at which you feel the discomfort in your body will help you define your fear.

3. Systematic desensitization

Once you understand the factors that trouble you, then you learn to face it. Relax your body, breathe in and breathe out. The only difference between a dead man and an alive man is breath. Be it any emotion, fear or anger, our breathing gets affected, it either becomes too fast or it becomes too slow. We need to focus on how to normalize it. It is important to understand that the brain controls our breathing. Once we understand the art of doing it, we will feel more relaxed and will actually be able to face the fear. And that is exactly what systematic desensitization means; facing your fear!

4. Rationalize the factor

Phobias are unrealistic fears. If you have a fear of driving and you feel someone will hit your vehicle. Try and understand why do you think it will happen only to your vehicle alone? Rationalize it, move it from your right hemisphere to the left hemisphere of the brain which is linked to logical thinking and make sure that you logically start thinking about it. All phobias and fears exist on the right side of the brain. Learn to move it to the left side and start to logically reason it out. Then is the time when you do long deep breathing.
Follow these steps and you will be amazed to see that it is not what your body and mind decides, it is you who control your body and mind. It’s time to take the wheel and drive it to any destination you want to go. Fears exist when you don’t really know what you should be doing when you know your clear steps about it, you can learn to deal with it.
Some things are easier said than done. It might happen that you may find it difficult to follow the above steps. If you want to learn this art and be a part of Dr. Alka’s most powerful program which is known as Untap your hidden potential training. Some people are even phobic of their own success, they don’t even know how to handle it. They are so fearful that they are not able to achieve what they are capable of achieving just because of the mental block. This mental block is ‘I KNOW I CAN’T’! This training will help you remove this mental block. So, If you are on a lookout for how to handle yourself and how to handle your fears how to overcome issues which are stopping you to get effective results, join Dr. Alka Kalra on 21st of September for this training and you’ll see your life changing!

About Dr. Alka Kalra

Dr. Alka is a community development authority (Dubai) certified psychologist and a professional counselor. She believes that each child has unique skills and strengths and is particularly passionate about children with learning difficulties. Through assessments (personality, aptitude and intelligence) and tailor made courses at Eduscan, not just for children but also teachers and parents, she has positively touched the lives of numerous children.
She regularly shares her views on parenting and child rearing practices on TV, radio and on Eduscan’s social media. She has been appreciated and awarded various titles including,

  • Top Indian Achiever Super 100
  • “Woman of the year” by International Women Association
  • “Lady of the year” by Indian Ladies association
  • “Lioness of the year” by Lions Club International
  • All India Best Cadet ‘Gold Medal’ by Prime Minister of India Late Indira Gandhi

4 Ways to Help Kids Become ‘Thinkers’

Are you a worried about your developing some analytical and creative skills? There are easy ways to help raise a creative child. From endless games and opportunities, to asking interesting questions of your child, you’ll be surprised how easy it is to develop creative thinking among young children.

Below are some interesting ways to improve your child’s creativity:

1. Present a picture to your child

Ask them to explain what they think is happening in the picture. To make it more interesting, ask them to explain what they think was happening before the picture story, and what they think will happen later on in the story. This will help them to come up with an apt logical sequence. You can play this game together as a family, where everyone can come up with their story from the same picture, and then share it with each other. An ideal picture should be the one with an action.

2. Mute a video

Another idea is to mute a video on the television and tell your kids to write down the conversation that they think should take place, by closely observing the gesture and posture of the actors. You will be surprised to see the results! Children who think on a creative end, will come up with interesting conversations. Maybe they’ll end up giving an unimaginable ending to every Harry Potter sequel!

3. Ask Open-Ended Questions

You can ask your children open-ended questions like, ‘What would you do if you had superman powers?’ , ‘If you can ask for 3 wishes, what would it be?’, ‘If you become the prime minister/leader of your country, what all would you want to do’?. This will help them to be more creative, imaginative and thoughtful.

4. Choose a family story

You can choose a favorite family story, for example, how dad fell asleep at one of the children’s’ annual performances when he was invited as a chief guest. Then ask the child to explain the story from a third person’s perspective, for example, from the principal’s perspective on what she would have thought. Being able to think about a story from an alternative perspective is an important part of improving thinking skills.
It is very important for parents to give some time of the day to enhance their child’s creative thinking skills. This can be half an hour after dinner, or maybe early morning before they go for school. Look into your schedule and make sure that you have chalked out some time to work on this with your kids.

About Eduscan

Creative thinking is a big part of Eduscan’s Winter Camp leadership training course. During the three weeks of this course, they conduct some similar activities in class with children, in order to enhance their logical reasoning and creative thinking skills. This course is specially designed by Dr. Alka Kalra, renowned educational psychologist, and Director of Eduscan Group.

3 Tips on How to Improve Your Child’s Memory

Memory plays an extremely important role in our daily lives. It helps us retrieve and organize information in our brains. It is very important to work on improving and enhancing the memory of young kids. It is during this time that kids pick up and learn things faster. Using the right techniques and tricks to improve their memory goes a long way in helping them recall information later on in life.

There are two components of memory. They are observation and visualization. There are innovative approaches to help improve these two components of memory:

Improve Kids’ Observation Skills

1. Memory drawings
It is a very powerful technique which enhances the observation skills of kids. For example, we see a wristwatch probably 20-30 times a day. But when you ask your child to draw the dial of his wristwatch, he may struggle to draw the same immediately. That’s the time when you give them a chance to look at the watch again and redo it. Another example is to tell your kids to draw their bedroom or kitchen. It will be fun to compare their drawing with the actual room and notice which ones they have missed out. In such cases, they observe keenly as they know it is followed by a test.
2. Spot the difference
A very common but effective game to improve concentration is to the spot the differences. Present two similar pictures to your kids with minor differences and ask them to highlight those differences in a given time limit. Another idea: put a lot of clocks in one room at the same time and keep one clock at a different time. Tell your kids to identify the clock with a different time.

Improve Kids’ Visualization Skills

3. How you see things
Remembering the basic numbers can be hard for young kids in the beginning. You can pair up every number with an object. For example, number one looks like a pen, two looks like a duck, three an eyeglass, four a boat, and five a star. At first, write down numbers one to five on a piece of paper and ask your kids to recall. They may or may not be able to recall every number. Then, draw these objects next to every number and tell them to visualize the same. Ask them to recall and you’ll see the difference. You can continue this exercise for number six which looks like a hockey stick, number seven which looks like a walking stick, etc.